Philo May Have Forgiven Lynn Halsey-Taylor, But I have Definitely Not!

At the end of "Every Which Way But Loose," when Philo walks away from the experience of finding out that his true love, Lynn Halsey-Taylor, is a hustler, Philo is angry surely, but not beaten, and, of course, wiser. It's possible that EWWBL, seen in this light, is about the oldest protagonist in a coming of age story.

I remember when I was a kid, I was really surprised that Clint didn't beat the crap out of Skyler. Certainly, he never had trouble getting in fights before in the movie. But as I grew older, I, like Philo, came to see that what he was chasing was not the reward he thought it was. Sweet, fun Lynn with her dreams of owning her own bar and country music stardom, sweet Lynn who when she sees Philo running down the road and then makes love to him (because she needs it just like everyone else), is not the woman he believed her to be. The real Lynn is an opportunist, hard inside, using people, a con-artist. Philo walks away from her through that dingy bar parking lot emotionally stronger. Although anyone would be hard-pressed to see his new strength since his first act of real strength is to throw a fight.

Now, first of all, Philo is not "too bright," to paraphrase him in the scene where he discovers Lynn's true intentions (not too bright since he was the first man to want to take her farther than her bed). She all but throws herself at him at the bar before they even speak. (As an aside, was there ever a woman less sexy than Lynne? When she says in a deep, throaty voice, "Well, I'd love to meet Clyde," I'm always a little disgusted by the idea that this woman will try to make anything at all sexy. Even when Clint asks her to leave and she responds, "I'd love to," well, it ain't sexy. It's kind of creepy. Having said that, I would definitely do her. Lynn, I, too, seek the night.) Then he finds out that she has a boyfriend, Skyler, who won't mind and there is a very clear implication that he might even have the slightly advanced inclination to watch. But still, Philo feels like he has to wine and dine Lynn! I bet Clyde could've farted, pissed, and picked his nose without bothering Lynn at all! Even after Philo gives her the money and she splits and then stands him up, he simply can't believe that it's her that has stood him up. He blames anyone else in sight except for the woman who clearly is to blame. By the time Lynne starts slapping him for making her admit that she is, basically, a prostitute with the world's wimpiest pimp, Philo finally understands that she isn't what he thought she was. Philo's reward, Lynn, is a terrible, mean thing. Really, Philo walking away from Lynn and Skyler in the parking lot is, from a dramatic standpoint, the climax of the film. The fight with Tank is an epilogue to show us that Clint has learned his lesson and he's not going to let himself get taken advantage of by the vampires and sycophants who are so ready and willing to turn on poor, addled Tank.

In a way, EWWBL is a coming of age film for Philo. His life is full of black and white, right and wrong. Philo has not yet lost his innocence. Does anyone remember in "St. Elmo's Fire" when Kirby Keger (the uncomplicated Emilio Estevez) braves freezing to death to find his lady love, only to discover that she's on her ski vacation with another? And then he has to sit there like an ass with both of them because his car is broken down or something? Kirby was in his early 20s. Philo is a rare breed, a middle-aged, bright-eyed idealist. The poor sap. Sure, he could kick my ass. But I was more women savvy than him when I was twelve.

But can we fault Philo for loving Lynn? Why do any of us love anyone? It's not a logical decision. It's just because we do. Sure, we can point to things about the person that we love. But we know, somewhere, that is not why we love them. We just do. And all the songs and all the movies tell Philo that he must follow this woman because being around her makes him happy. Now, usually, when a man reaches Philo's age (43?), he has learned to temper this love with logic and reason. Most experienced men would know that Philo's experience is borderline stalking (the reason it isn't stalking is because Lynne never lets Philo know that his attention is unwanted and leads him to believe that they are destined to be together) and to just let it go. But having said that, poor Philo, when he hops in her truck when she finds him running along the road and when she asks him what he's doing there and he says, "looking for you," it certainly makes me feel bad. On some level, most stalkers know what they're doing is wrong. They slink and skulk in the dark. Not Philo, he'll tell you what he's thinking out in the cold light of day. And Lynn wanted Philo to fall for her, so, well done, Lynn.

I don't want to sound like I don't like Any Which Way You Can, but it is the lesser of two fantastic movies. And easily, my biggest problem with it is the inclusion of Lynn Halsey-Taylor. Philo didn't learn his lesson! That girl got him thinking while he was drinking one more beer, if he was headed for heartache then why in the hell was he still there? I have no idea. Jesus, Philo. Did she start bringing guys home to do them while you watched because she said of you, "he won't mind?" What could she have possibly said to you to take her back? Again, okay, maybe he loved her. But maybe Philo, maybe you were right, maybe you aren't too bright if you took Lynn back.

I, for one, can't help but to make a few conclusions about the man, Clint Eastwood, based on this. More than one fantastic movie was marred by the inclusion of the mediocre work of Sandra Locke. Look at this list: "Every Which Way But Loose," "Escape from Alcatraz," "Bronco Billy," "Any Which Way You Can," "Firefox," "Honkytonk Man," and "Sudden Impact." That's Clint's work from 1978 through 1983. Obviously, I love EWWBL and AWWYC. But how did "Honkytonk Man" avoid Sandra Locke? That one was one of Clint's babies (and not because it include his son, Kyle), a small movie, but artistically significant (in tone, probably his film closest in tone to Oscar winning "Mystic River), which is not something anyone would say about any Sandra Locke movie. Most of the other super cool movies, "Escape from Alcatraz," the dated "Firefox," avoided Locke. I assume because there were other directors and producers. But how in the hell did she end up in "Sudden Impact?" She simply wasn't right for the part of a homicidal rape victim. Somebody should have said something.

Hey, I don't hate Locke. She's great in EWWBL and actually very likable and believable in Bronco Billy. But the conclusion that I draw from this about Clint the man is that sometimes, he really shoehorned Sandra Locke into his work. And sometimes, like in AWWYC, it really spoiled the drama of the film. Wouldn't it have been great in Any Which Way You Can, if Philo, having learned to stay away from hustlers, ended up with a nice girl? Rather than one that probably isn't, to say the least, trustworthy? Hell, I figure Lynn finally figured out that Philo has low overhead and makes a lot of money. You know, Lynn didn't know the Black Widows weren't competent assassins, she basically sent them out to kill Philo. And then Philo and Lynn got back together? How many Goddamn Oympias did you have that day, Philo?

What does this all say about why Philo lets Tank clock him in EWWBL? Again, Philo has just been used. He walked away from Lynn, wiser, yes, but heartbroken. He sees how Tank is a commodity to the various hangers-on and leeches and decides, that's not the life he wants, particularly since he realizes now that Lynn used him, not just for money, but for sex! Philo was a man who didn't believe in strings. Long-term obligations were just unnecessary things. But Philo has learned from his experiences that obligations and strings aren't the problem, it's making those obligations to the right people, the people who deserve it. Tanks' life is not the life for him, a broken-down legend surrounded by sycophants.

Okay, great. That's what a movie should be. It's a tough lesson that Philo learns. But then along comes AWWYC and Philo is back with Lynn. So, that completely changes the message of the first movie. Philo is back to being a head-in-the-clouds dreamer. Rocks in his head, I say! Lynn is poison. Philo, after EWWBL is a wiser, tougher man. After AWWYC, he is an idiot who fights really well.

But I don't want that to be the last word. My friends, family, and work-related acquaintances, and I love AWWYC. It's a fun movie with apes, Black Widows, and bare-knuckled brawling. But the surprise of EWWBL is that there is some substance to the movie. And the movie seems so mindless, that it is a real jolt when we suddenly have to think. AWWYC? Philo Bedoe for President!

This is an old joke to me, but my brother, my cousin, several of my friends, and I used to conjecture about what would happen in the next movie. We came up with a million things, but the first scene of the movie was always the same, "A disoriented Lynn Halsey-Taylor finds herself on the railroad tracks in the dead of night in a heavy rainstorm. She looks right when she hears the train whistle from behind and rushes forward to escape, alas, the wrong way, she runs headfirst into the oncoming train and is instantly killed."

Why are we so hard on her? Because she made my hero, Philo, into something I still have trouble admitting. She made him into a man who settles, whose compromises say more about his personality than his endeavors. Philo may be happy. But let's face it, his life partner is no prize. Thank God he has Clyde.