John Quade, Rest In Peace

John Quade died in his sleep on Sunday, August 9, 2009, according to the LA Times. Quade's portrayal of the leader of the Black Widows (whose name is variously spelled Chola or Cholla) is one of those essential ingredients in the EWWBL franchise that you might take for granted.

Mike has already written an appreciation of Quade's comic acting, and I commented on his more recent involvement in conspiracy theorist groups. I'll take this moment to remember his physical presence on screen.

In his obituary, his wife is quoted as saying: "He looked like he could do murder and mayhem at any moment, but he was a big teddy bear -- the kind that he just loved little kids, but they were always afraid of him."

He certainly hits some different notes at various points in the movie, but it's his smoldering rage that I think really makes his performance. With his large frame straddling his motorcycle, he gives a wide variety of reactions to the indignities he and the Widows suffer throughout the two films. Exasperation, shame, confusion. But my favorite is when he sets his jaw and looks like he is silently counting to ten and trying to keep from strangling one of his underlings. He did all of this without saying a word.

He also has a particular strut nicely complemented by swatting his riding crop into his hand rhythmically. Hats off to the costume department. The biker regalia crosses into the absurd without being too obvious. Quade's stride suggests an arrogance genuinely won by past accomplishments--times now past. Quade's age and the age of the other Black Widows is a subtle way to tell that story as well.

Quade's rough complexion suggested that he had survived many rough years. And every once in a while that smoldering expression crumbles and breaks when Cholla is pushed too far. ("It was only one old woman that nearly ruinated you!")

I dare say that there aren't too many character actors like John Quade left in Hollywood. Adam Sandler and a couple others have assembled regular companies of character actors, but guys like Quade are a dying breed. Hopefully his performances in EWWBL and AWWYC are being closely studied, inspiring a new generation of tough guys with perfect comedic timing.

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Philo May Have Forgiven Lynn Halsey-Taylor, But I have Definitely Not!

At the end of "Every Which Way But Loose," when Philo walks away from the experience of finding out that his true love, Lynn Halsey-Taylor, is a hustler, Philo is angry surely, but not beaten, and, of course, wiser. It's possible that EWWBL, seen in this light, is about the oldest protagonist in a coming of age story.

I remember when I was a kid, I was really surprised that Clint didn't beat the crap out of Skyler. Certainly, he never had trouble getting in fights before in the movie. But as I grew older, I, like Philo, came to see that what he was chasing was not the reward he thought it was. Sweet, fun Lynn with her dreams of owning her own bar and country music stardom, sweet Lynn who when she sees Philo running down the road and then makes love to him (because she needs it just like everyone else), is not the woman he believed her to be. The real Lynn is an opportunist, hard inside, using people, a con-artist. Philo walks away from her through that dingy bar parking lot emotionally stronger. Although anyone would be hard-pressed to see his new strength since his first act of real strength is to throw a fight.

Now, first of all, Philo is not "too bright," to paraphrase him in the scene where he discovers Lynn's true intentions (not too bright since he was the first man to want to take her farther than her bed). She all but throws herself at him at the bar before they even speak. (As an aside, was there ever a woman less sexy than Lynne? When she says in a deep, throaty voice, "Well, I'd love to meet Clyde," I'm always a little disgusted by the idea that this woman will try to make anything at all sexy. Even when Clint asks her to leave and she responds, "I'd love to," well, it ain't sexy. It's kind of creepy. Having said that, I would definitely do her. Lynn, I, too, seek the night.) Then he finds out that she has a boyfriend, Skyler, who won't mind and there is a very clear implication that he might even have the slightly advanced inclination to watch. But still, Philo feels like he has to wine and dine Lynn! I bet Clyde could've farted, pissed, and picked his nose without bothering Lynn at all! Even after Philo gives her the money and she splits and then stands him up, he simply can't believe that it's her that has stood him up. He blames anyone else in sight except for the woman who clearly is to blame. By the time Lynne starts slapping him for making her admit that she is, basically, a prostitute with the world's wimpiest pimp, Philo finally understands that she isn't what he thought she was. Philo's reward, Lynn, is a terrible, mean thing. Really, Philo walking away from Lynn and Skyler in the parking lot is, from a dramatic standpoint, the climax of the film. The fight with Tank is an epilogue to show us that Clint has learned his lesson and he's not going to let himself get taken advantage of by the vampires and sycophants who are so ready and willing to turn on poor, addled Tank.

In a way, EWWBL is a coming of age film for Philo. His life is full of black and white, right and wrong. Philo has not yet lost his innocence. Does anyone remember in "St. Elmo's Fire" when Kirby Keger (the uncomplicated Emilio Estevez) braves freezing to death to find his lady love, only to discover that she's on her ski vacation with another? And then he has to sit there like an ass with both of them because his car is broken down or something? Kirby was in his early 20s. Philo is a rare breed, a middle-aged, bright-eyed idealist. The poor sap. Sure, he could kick my ass. But I was more women savvy than him when I was twelve.

But can we fault Philo for loving Lynn? Why do any of us love anyone? It's not a logical decision. It's just because we do. Sure, we can point to things about the person that we love. But we know, somewhere, that is not why we love them. We just do. And all the songs and all the movies tell Philo that he must follow this woman because being around her makes him happy. Now, usually, when a man reaches Philo's age (43?), he has learned to temper this love with logic and reason. Most experienced men would know that Philo's experience is borderline stalking (the reason it isn't stalking is because Lynne never lets Philo know that his attention is unwanted and leads him to believe that they are destined to be together) and to just let it go. But having said that, poor Philo, when he hops in her truck when she finds him running along the road and when she asks him what he's doing there and he says, "looking for you," it certainly makes me feel bad. On some level, most stalkers know what they're doing is wrong. They slink and skulk in the dark. Not Philo, he'll tell you what he's thinking out in the cold light of day. And Lynn wanted Philo to fall for her, so, well done, Lynn.

I don't want to sound like I don't like Any Which Way You Can, but it is the lesser of two fantastic movies. And easily, my biggest problem with it is the inclusion of Lynn Halsey-Taylor. Philo didn't learn his lesson! That girl got him thinking while he was drinking one more beer, if he was headed for heartache then why in the hell was he still there? I have no idea. Jesus, Philo. Did she start bringing guys home to do them while you watched because she said of you, "he won't mind?" What could she have possibly said to you to take her back? Again, okay, maybe he loved her. But maybe Philo, maybe you were right, maybe you aren't too bright if you took Lynn back.

I, for one, can't help but to make a few conclusions about the man, Clint Eastwood, based on this. More than one fantastic movie was marred by the inclusion of the mediocre work of Sandra Locke. Look at this list: "Every Which Way But Loose," "Escape from Alcatraz," "Bronco Billy," "Any Which Way You Can," "Firefox," "Honkytonk Man," and "Sudden Impact." That's Clint's work from 1978 through 1983. Obviously, I love EWWBL and AWWYC. But how did "Honkytonk Man" avoid Sandra Locke? That one was one of Clint's babies (and not because it include his son, Kyle), a small movie, but artistically significant (in tone, probably his film closest in tone to Oscar winning "Mystic River), which is not something anyone would say about any Sandra Locke movie. Most of the other super cool movies, "Escape from Alcatraz," the dated "Firefox," avoided Locke. I assume because there were other directors and producers. But how in the hell did she end up in "Sudden Impact?" She simply wasn't right for the part of a homicidal rape victim. Somebody should have said something.

Hey, I don't hate Locke. She's great in EWWBL and actually very likable and believable in Bronco Billy. But the conclusion that I draw from this about Clint the man is that sometimes, he really shoehorned Sandra Locke into his work. And sometimes, like in AWWYC, it really spoiled the drama of the film. Wouldn't it have been great in Any Which Way You Can, if Philo, having learned to stay away from hustlers, ended up with a nice girl? Rather than one that probably isn't, to say the least, trustworthy? Hell, I figure Lynn finally figured out that Philo has low overhead and makes a lot of money. You know, Lynn didn't know the Black Widows weren't competent assassins, she basically sent them out to kill Philo. And then Philo and Lynn got back together? How many Goddamn Oympias did you have that day, Philo?

What does this all say about why Philo lets Tank clock him in EWWBL? Again, Philo has just been used. He walked away from Lynn, wiser, yes, but heartbroken. He sees how Tank is a commodity to the various hangers-on and leeches and decides, that's not the life he wants, particularly since he realizes now that Lynn used him, not just for money, but for sex! Philo was a man who didn't believe in strings. Long-term obligations were just unnecessary things. But Philo has learned from his experiences that obligations and strings aren't the problem, it's making those obligations to the right people, the people who deserve it. Tanks' life is not the life for him, a broken-down legend surrounded by sycophants.

Okay, great. That's what a movie should be. It's a tough lesson that Philo learns. But then along comes AWWYC and Philo is back with Lynn. So, that completely changes the message of the first movie. Philo is back to being a head-in-the-clouds dreamer. Rocks in his head, I say! Lynn is poison. Philo, after EWWBL is a wiser, tougher man. After AWWYC, he is an idiot who fights really well.

But I don't want that to be the last word. My friends, family, and work-related acquaintances, and I love AWWYC. It's a fun movie with apes, Black Widows, and bare-knuckled brawling. But the surprise of EWWBL is that there is some substance to the movie. And the movie seems so mindless, that it is a real jolt when we suddenly have to think. AWWYC? Philo Bedoe for President!

This is an old joke to me, but my brother, my cousin, several of my friends, and I used to conjecture about what would happen in the next movie. We came up with a million things, but the first scene of the movie was always the same, "A disoriented Lynn Halsey-Taylor finds herself on the railroad tracks in the dead of night in a heavy rainstorm. She looks right when she hears the train whistle from behind and rushes forward to escape, alas, the wrong way, she runs headfirst into the oncoming train and is instantly killed."

Why are we so hard on her? Because she made my hero, Philo, into something I still have trouble admitting. She made him into a man who settles, whose compromises say more about his personality than his endeavors. Philo may be happy. But let's face it, his life partner is no prize. Thank God he has Clyde.

Cholla From Every Which Way But Loose and Bottom From A Midsummer's Night Dream

The loveable buffoon. Comedy relief. The deceptively canny foe (well, it appears to me, there can't be many people driving around this valley with an ape). The dangerous man who is, all told, not that dangerous, but would hurt someone if given the chance, even an old lady. Cholla is all of these things and much, much more. I would argue that without John Quade as Cholla, the whole of Every Which Way But Loose would fall apart. Philo and Orville's light tone is not a dumbed-down or ridiculous tone, but the Black Widows were written (one assumes) so broadly that they could have easily played it as a Paulie Shore annoya-comedy. But they did not. They played it straight. Cholla is the leader of a dangerous gang of thugs and, damnit, will, as such, be respected.

Self-importance is very funny to us right now. Will Ferrell makes his whole living playing characters with a confidence to which they have no right. Ricky Bobby. Ron Burgandy. Chazz Michael Michaels. They could all be the leader of the Black Widows. Hell, if I was remaking Every Which Way But Loose, I might just put old Will Ferrell in the role. True, he's not short and fat, but I bet he could make it work. Not that I think anyone could improve on the excellent work of John Quade. John gets it. The internet is sketchy on this, and I know most of Quade's film work was as a tough guy, but I would be willing to bet that, as a younger man, Quade did a lot of stage work. His comic timing is perfect. And he seems to know the trick to playing a part like that, play it big, but not too big and, for God's sakes, play it straight. It's funny because he totally inhabits the part. Quade is Cholla. And Cholla truly thinks that the Black Widows are bad mothers.

Ever seen those venerable British actors, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen on Saturday Night Live? The reason they are so funny-- even when the sketch isn't that good of an idea-- is because they are stage actors and they know how to win over an audience. This is a little obscure, even for me, but did anyone see the "Naughty Cake" sketch where every naughty cake that Patrick Stewart made was a woman going to the bathroom? And then when someone asked for a cake with a woman having sex, Stewart was mortally disgusted? If Skeet Ulrich had been in that part, it wouldn't have been funny (Sorry, Skeet! I loved you in "The Craft," but you are not funny). My point is that John Quade fits right in with Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen in knowing what is funny. When the old man in the trailer park runs the water over Cholla's boots and a pained Cholla looks to the heavens for salvation? Has anyone who played Richard III ever looked so despondent?

And I dont think just anyone could do that. Remember how I said that most of the parts Cholla played were tough guys? Most other tough guys (I don't even think Eastwood himself) aren't funny. You know who I don't think is funny? The Rock. Every time he tries to be funny, I'm reminded of those football players who were in my high school talent show every year doing an inept ballet. And, God help me, Arnold Schwarzenegger is not funny. Oh, sure, you can put him in funny situations if you know how to use him right. I love it in T2 when John has him take care of some street toughs for him and then balks when the T-800 was going to kill the men. "You were going to kill those guys!" John squeals. Schwarzenegger calmly explains, "I'm a Terminator." Funny stuff. But Arnold pregnant? Arnold brothers with Danny DeVito? One Joke Movies (although, of course, DeVito is one funny little son of a bitch).

What am I getting at? There are a lot of factors that make Every Which Way But Loose a work of genius. But the casting, my God, the casting. Without the synergy of the cast, the movie could easily be crap. Buddy Van Horn, who directed "Any Which Way You Can," was the stunt coordinator on "Every Which Way But Loose." John Quade spent much of his early career doing stunts. I have absolutely no other evidence for this, but I bet Buddy had something to do with John Quade getting cast. They were probably buddies and Buddy, who knew Quade was hilarious and a fine actor, got him in the movie and it was the right thing to do. Buddy, as seems to happen with Eastwood, at a glance seems to have been the stunt director for all of Eastwood's films since "Coogan's Bluff!" Hell, he did the stunts on Spartacus. Buddy, I would love to sit down and hear some of your stories. Did you have anything to do with that ax handle fight in "Pale Rider?" That was genius.

As another aside to my thesis, is anyone else fascinated that Quade was in a TV show called "Werewolf" as "Storage Shed Owner" and then again as "Mulligan" that same year (imdb is awesome). It would be difficult to find out this for sure, but I would be willing to bet that they cast him as Storage Shed Owner based on a headshot and then when he came in, he owned the part and they had to bring him back. How many other people billed as Storage Shed Owner are asked back with a bigger part?

But who do I think is Cholla's most direct ancestor? In Shakespeare’s "A Midsummer's Night's Dream," Bottom is part of the traveling troupe of actors who dream of a big score (a sixpence a day!) that is actually not that big of a score, but rather the job of performing for a local bigwig on his birthday. While practicing, the cause of Bottom's troubles the sprite, Puck, transforms Bottom's head into that of an donkey. Much trouble ensues, some love (which, alas, poor Cholla, has not), and then Bottom does get the dreamed-of gig for the King (or Prince or whatever).

Quade plays Cholla exactly like so many actors to great effect have played Bottom. Cholla's troupe are, of course, the Black Widows. And hell, at the end of "Any Which Way You Can," they even get their dreamed-of big score. Puck? That's Clyde. Clyde makes Cholla look like an ass more often than Philo, who is not a bully.

Sure, this doesn't have a one-to-one basis, but I think the argument is valid. We could also argue that WC Fields might have played the part of Cholla similarly to Quade's interpretation (isn't it funny when you see older actors at the Oscars or something and they'll say something like, "As Jack Benny used to say, "I'm thinking! I'm thinking!" And you kind of know what they're talking about, but not completely. I'm sure I'm going to be 80 and saying things to my grandchildren like, "No more yankee my wankee" and they'll have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about). As an aside, although I love Any Which Way You Can, Cholla's character does lose his compass a bit. The Cholla who shakes his belly in a full-on evil laugh when he finds out that he and Lynne Halsey-Taylor share a desire to set up Philo for a beat-down simply does not exist in AWWYC. He becomes more of a buffoon. And that's fine. But it can't quite stand up to his performance in EWWBL.

So, to sum up, Cholla, Shakespeare, Ian McKellen, Jack Benny. Maybe I don't have a thesis exactly, but John Quade is truly a great man.

Jack Wilson v. Tank Murdoch

Okay, we've all wondered about it. Denver Tank Murdoch vs. Jack Wilson. Think how many be-braed dilettante gold diggers that fight would've brought out in their upside-down planes. Of course, the way the movies set it up, Jack is much tougher. He's in the sequel. He knows kung fu or something. He breaks Philo's arm and they destroy a barn. The movie seems to say that Jack is in the big leagues, working for the wealthy, whereas Tank is so working class that his idea of fame seems to be fighting in, well, what is that? A tire yard? So, yeah, Jack Wilson is in the bigs. Tank is small-time. But I think that's far too easy.

Remember in "Every Which Way But Loose" when Lynn is spinning the ribald tale of Tank and the Debutante? Does that seem like the washed-up, addled Tank we see, the blank look of fear in his eyes as he realizes that this could be the one where he finally loses? No! That was a story of young Tank, a Tank who hadn't been used up by his friends. Tank may be past his prime, but he must be one hell of a fighter to have gotten as far as he has. The Tank Murdoch we meet isn't much. But he takes several of Philo's best punches right to his face and is standing there fricking grinning. And that's not nothing. For sure, I probably couldn't have taken one of Philo's punches. Hell, Philo can lift a goddman car. You ever tried that?

And let's not forget the reason we love EWWBL, it's not as dumb as it would seem to those critics who dismiss it as Clint's monkey movie. Tank Murdoch was Philo. Philo sees himself becoming Tank. That's why he allows himself to lose. In losing, Philo avoids the trap in which Tank is ensnared.

I woudl liken Tank to the older Elvis, surrounded by leeches (I'm looking at YOU, Joe Esposito! Get off your bicycle built for two and be your own man!), isolated by his fame, but still a force to be reckoned with. Tank may have finally met his match in Philo, but any of those other guys Philo fought? I bet Tank would've taken them apart. Likewise, Elvis had a lot of good music left in him. Tank and Elvis probably could've hung out.

As much as EWWBL is the tale of Philo doing exactly the first thing we hear, he's "the kind of man who does not believe in strings" -- as much as that, EWWBL is a requiem for Denver Tank Murdoch. Tank has lived his life hard, becoming a legend, fighting his way though all comers weekend after weekend. Punch drunk Tank, almost a joke by the time we meet him, lived for wine, women, and song and, we must infer, did so in a way that would've made us blush. None of my buddies have ever asked me to hide in the trunk while they made love to a debutante! I don't think anyone I know has ever gotten anywhere near a debutante except to park their cars.

Remember that guy in the trunk in the debutante story? The one Orville muses may still be in that trunk? He's not in that trunk. Tank beats the shit out of him for laughing. Hell, he's probably the guy in the red pants.

No, I think if pretty boy Jack and his fancy moves were set against Tank in his heyday, Jack would get his ass handed to him. Quickly. No question.

So, here's a drink to the older Tank! Tank, you're not a bad guy and we love you. Do you like Bruce Springsteen, Tank? Do you know the song, "The Hitter"? When someone finally beat you Tank, did you have anywhere to go? Did you have savings? Did one of your buddies get you a job selling cars? Or did you find yourself living in that tire yard? Would you paraphrase Bruce for us, Tank?

Tonight in the shipyard a man draws a circle in the dirt

I move to the center and I take off my shirt

I study him for the cuts, the scars, the pain,

Man, nor time can erase

I move hard to the left and I strike to the face

Chasing Chollo

July 1, 2007

I've spent a little time this morning trying to figure out what John Quade is doing these days. It's led me to some odd discoveries.

According some websites, Quade became a member of a Christian group with some strong convictions about something called Christian Reconstructionism. More importantly, though, he was a close associate of a very powerful man: C. Everett Koop, M.D.

Koop called upon Quade in 1981 to spend the day making calls to various people around the country to help stop something called a Discharge Petition, which seems to have had something to do with abortion. Quade is described as being a "Hollywood actor and a member of the New Right."

Then at a myspace website, there is an audio file of John Quade making a speech at the 1995 Preparedness Expo about how nobody has rights because Congress can take them away. There's some kind of techno music playing over his voice. It's strange to say the least. He's described as "Hollywood actor, aerospace engineer, Christian biker and legal scholar, John Quade aka John William Saunders." I did not listen to the entire hour, but he seems to be saying that all governments are illegitimate and only law should be Christian law, which is why he does not have a social security card or a driver's license. We are all "resident alien subject slaves" if we form these contracts with the government, and how the government actually owns all property and all we have are government "titles" to things like our cars. There is also some occasional mention of Bill Clinton and his queen. Evidently the Preparedness Expos are events for survivalists, militias, and far-right extremists who believe such things as all money is counterfeit and unconstitutional, Jewish cabals rule the world, and so forth.

And, as we all suspected was the case, John Quade has a VHS videotape for that you can receive for a $10 donation where he discusses the role of pastors in the American Revolution.

Which all raises the question, if we interviewed John Quade would he want to talk about Every Which Way But Loose?